Try outs.

Helloooooooooooooooo!

It literally just dawned on me that in a few days time we will be going back to class. And can I just say, I am not even a tad bit excited to go back to school. For one, I’m not really eating up all this “I Miss You” and “I want to hang out with you guys again” bull. I’m tired of dealing with people I don’t want to. Although, that’s not to say that there are some people that I’d rather be with back there in UST. I can name a handful, but I’ve been having the best of times with Bea, Basi, and other HS friends.

Why did we even have to be separated huh? :|

I know that it’s childish to want for things not to change, but yeah, sometimes it’s just easier to have things at status quo. When things were just simple, we didn’t have to deal with all the shit we have at the time being. But then there are things that I’m happy to have gotten rid of, so yeah I guess I don’t want things to remain exactly as they are. Maybe some things, but then since we all know that in order to have everything we want, some higher being would have to love you very very much.

Aside from that, my brothers will be leaving in 60 hours time. And that, my friends, suck. One, because no matter how uncharacteristic it is of me I really really really love my brothers. Two, I’d have to be stuck with my other relatives here at home. Deep down inside, I know that I’m happy that they’re around me. BUT FOR THE MOST FUCKING PART THEY ANNOY ME TO BITS. D: They are loud, obnoxious, and downright nosy. Sometimes I wish they’d just leave me alone.

That’s why I’d rather have my brothers with me, I know I’ve wished for them gone before, but I didn’t know it felt like this. It sucks.

There’s this thing with one of my friends. He’s being an annoying clingy bitch. I can understand that I can be a huge asshole myself, it’s my default temperament, but can’t he stop making such a big deal out of everything?! And to spill about it? PLEASE. It’s very aggravating and I can’t help being any more Irritated than I already am. I didn’t think it was possible. I was forced to make a truce just so that everyone, including him, would just shut up about it.

I told him that I’ve forgiven him for whatever he has done to me, on the condition that I’d never have to speak with him again.

You know, I forgive you and all, but can I not deal with you anymore? Something to that extent. It’s plausible, is it not? He gets to satiate this obsessive need of my forgiveness, and I don’t have to deal with this bullshit anymore. Cause I’ll be honest, unless he wants me to bitch out on him, it’s better for him to just leave me alone. UGH.

I know that things can be way worse, and I’ll get over this. I will, so just forgive me for blurting this all out like this. :|

PS: I just have to love some people for trying to cheer me up when I’m this way. I love you people more than you’d know. >:D<.

I’m so bored. D:

Add to that the fact that my dear dear girl Bea isn’t around. :( :(

Right now I have forced my brothers to watch this koreanovela about this nun who pretended to be her rockstar brother, You’re Beautiful. It’s a really good series, lot’s of rewatch value IMO. Although there is a huge possibility that I say that only because I am hopelessly bored and am trying to find worth in anything. :))

Enough about the worthlessness that is my life as of this very moment. I just wanted to rant about this person who has been annoying the godfuck out of me, we shall call this person Inch from here on out. Just to make things clear, Inch isn’t really doing anything wrong. It’s just that his mere presence is enough a spell to put me in a foul mood.

Now the question here is, “Why and when did all this start anyway?”

I prefer not to answer that question, I’ve been dodging that for a long time now and I will continue to do so. The bottom line here is that I have decided to cut him loose, I’d stop caring. I’d stop being the guy who he runs to every time he has too much crap going on in his life. After all, that’s what he wanted. Or at least that was how he made me feel.

Now my problem is how to get him off my neck.

Things were fine until recently. I wasn’t in his life, and he wasn’t in mine. There was this peace that I enjoyed only so much! But then he has to barge into my life as if nothing happened. I feel like this rug that was used, then when I was dirty I was abandoned. I was a mess of course, one that others had to clean up. And when I was finally the clean rug once again, he goes back to me expecting he can use me as he did before.

ASLKDJALSKDJALSKJDLAKSJDALKSJDLASKDJL. HOW PATHETIC IS IT THAT I COMPARED MYSELF TO A GOD FORSAKEN RUG?! UGH.

I don’t even get why he can act so nonchalant about this whole thing. So maybe what happened between us was something vague, but still! It isn’t that hard to miss. Now he has to go on and be dra-muh, getting me into more deep shit. He’s been going on about how confused he is about my seemingly out of the blue grudge against him. He says that he wants to know the reason why I’ve changed and how we can go back to the way we once were.

The answer is pretty clear, we will never be able to return to what we were, simply because I refuse to be in the same unsatisfactory position anymore. In reality I’m not bothered about falling into the same old mess as before. What’s annoying me to tears is how he can be so dense. I can understand that he may want closure or something like that, and I sure as hell wanted to give it to him. Thing is he had to be a complete ass when I was supposed to speak with him. And if that was how he wanted things to work then FINE BY ME, really.

I’ve tried telling him subtly too you know! But like most all of the creatures of our kind, it just isn’t possible for the male specimen to take hints. Even if they are already too awfully blunt.

To Inch,

Please die. I hate you so so much, and I’d rather you stay out of my life. I sincerely hope that you can do at least that much for me, because I know I’ve done far greater things for you. And also stop being such a drama queen getting everyone involved in this. I still love everyone very very much, my rage is exclusively for you. So please, save everyone the trouble and just BUZZ OFF! Please? :(

-Khail. :)

I’ve no idea why I had to write this whole thing because there isn’t any real use for it. I guess I’m just that bored that I’m using Tumblr as a dumpsite. 8-| I shall go back to watching that koreanovela now. :))